Don’t be a commitment-phobe


“The mature human being goes about doing what needs to be done regardless of whether that person feels great or terrible. Knowing that you are the kind of person with that kind of self-control brings all the satisfaction and confidence you will ever need. Even on days when the satisfaction and confidence just aren’t there, you can get the job done anyway.”  -David K. Reynolds

How do you remain committed to your goals while experiencing doubt and a lack of self-confidence? What is the secret?

These are the questions I ask myself repeatedly, and it seems each time I’m faced with this particular hurdle, I’m right back in this spot pondering just where I went astray.

Oddly, this feels comfortable. I’m familiar with the hesitation because I’ve spent most of my life questioning everything instead of taking the risk of actually living. The marked determination and conviction I’ve applied to achieving my goals these past few months is new. Who is that person? This is wrong. It shouldn’t be this easy.

It’s remarkable how quickly we can retreat from the very thing that we’ve been searching for simply because it’s too terrifying. Confidence? Commitment? A quick smile and relaxed spirit? That’s not me.

This is the part where I make a choice. Either go down that familiar road of self-doubt and imposed apathy while ignoring what my heart is screaming at me, or take a step into the unknown where there will surely be challenges and risks along with an opportunity to finally achieve optimal living on all levels.

What would you choose?

The more I tip-toe down that second road, the more I realize that this secret we’re all so desperate to discover isn’t really a secret at all. If you take the time to shut out the distractions of daily life, your heart is telling you what it wants over and over again. Tune in. Cherish that connection you’ve made with your intuition and honor that with your next choice.

The part that trips us up is that once we’ve discovered that voice, we believe it’s smooth sailing from that point on. Guess what? It won’t be smooth and it won’t be easy. In fact, it’s going to suck.

Success isn’t a straight line. Life doesn’t go smoothly. There will be complications and circumstances, no matter how much we try to ignore them, will inevitably affect your emotions and provide obstacles. We know this. And yet, we want all the pieces to fall neatly into place with no effort on part beyond that initial revelation.

Wake up!

Be honest with yourself about your goals and realize that you will always face a choice that will continually challenge your commitment and raise doubts. The path to optimal living is a continual test of faith. The journey throughout is a process that will take you up, down, around and back again.

With each choice you reinforce your dedication to what your heart told you in that initial moment of clarity. You become stronger. The path clearer. And suddenly you find your world changing.

Is this easy? Nope. I’ve danced this little two-step number on the line between my past and my future for some time now and I realized that I needed a reminder that expecting easy was what got me here in the first place.

Whatever your heart tells you in that moment free from distraction, listen. Retain your integrity. Be true to yourself. And more importantly, be honest with yourself about the difficulties you’ll face. Don’t be a commitment-phobe. I’ll meet you on the road when you’re ready.

2 Replies to “Don’t be a commitment-phobe”

  1. I can not tell you how much I LOVE this post and the line about listening to your heart and retaining with integrity? AMEN! I think it takes both, commitment and confidence. But not swagger confidence. Deep rooted belief in ourselves which is often the broken link between setting goals and accomplishing them. Great stuff as always! xo


    1. Wow, thanks so much Ilene. Funny, I wrote this on a lark this morning. I just didn’t want to write. Which I guess was the universe’s way of telling me that I NEEDED to get this out. Swag and ‘fake it ’till you make it’ can only get us so far. I usually opt for ‘pretend it’s not really there’ which is what I’ve been playing the last couple of weeks. I just got so sick of myself today, lol. We all need to woMAN up sometimes, no?? 🙂


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